I
had stayed behind in the meeting room after they broke for lunch, too engrossed
in some archetype work and did not want to interrupt it. I was tucked away in the corner and once I
heard her start to tell her story I felt maybe I should leave but then thought
“they know I’m over here in the corner if they want me to leave they will tell
me” so I continued on with my work while keeping an ear tuned into their conversation. Turns out this retreat sister had a very
painful and sexually abusive relationship with her Mormon step father as a
child leaving her with deep resentments for all Mormon’s. Having just found out that one of the
facilitators was Mormon she felt shaken and needed to address this. So much came together for me in that
moment. Several months back when I had
signed up for this retreat I had just found out myself that this facilitator
was Mormon and realized I had issues of my own to work through. Why does this matter? So what if she is Mormon? Can’t I still find her work and her very beautiful
self just as beautiful with this new knowledge?
Why should being Mormon matter at all to my perceptions of her? These and more were the questions that
flooded my mind during the months prior to the retreat. And with those questions came the realization
that my issue was not with Mormonism but with certain Mormon people who had
treated me poorly. They had judged me
harshly and excluded me from the very family I was born into. It is not always so apparent to us just how
damaging exclusion from one’s tribe/family can be. It tears at the very fabric of trust and
belonging. Two things we all need to
feel safe, loved, cared for and of value in our respective tribes. So my abuse or issue, though not as explicit
as sexual violation in nature, left me with a similar wound as my retreat
sister. In the moment of watching these
sisters heal their wounds (this lovely Mormon facilitator had similar exclusion
wounds) a healing balm of love, peace and true acceptance swept over me and I
wept. There are no coincidences I’ve
heard it said. Oh and did I mention my
ride to and from the retreat was an equally amazing Mormon sister? Coincidences my Jack-Mormon ass. And to be even clearer on this magical moment
let’s take a look at the archetype work that kept me behind that fateful
day. We had been given instructions to bring
a couple of pictures of ourselves for one of the projects. Knowing nothing else I picked a picture of myself
when I was a Mormon teenager at a youth function where my “sister” friend and I
were laughing. Hard! One of those precious moments captured with
no staging or posing. The second
picture was taken when I was older, at a Beltane ceremony and again my “sister”
friend and I are laughing big!! After
discovering that my archetype is the ‘fool” using those two pictures together
on the artwork, then over hearing the healing of those two “sisters” I saw
clearly how we are truly one and no religion or group can be excluded
anymore. We have to get past our skewed
perceptions of each other and love each other and stop judging each other so
harshly. Returning home with this fresh mindset
had yet another deep sister wound bubbling up and the words that came to me
during that surfacing were scribbled down quickly. Immediately I posted them on FB. A friend asked “did you write this?” Too
afraid to own my own words I quickly created a page, called it Giggling Sisters
and the rest is “her”story.
